Welcome to Chris and Suzanne Styles. Our BEING+DOING+BELIEVING=HAVING™ teaching programme is different and here’s why we believe it will provide you with a meaningful learning experience.
“Where you find yourself in your life right now is not a reflection of who you are, it’s a reflection of who you were” – James Arthur Ray
WHO We WERE Then:
Our intense journey to what we now teach you through this Chris and Suzanne Styles dotcom site began back in 2008. To the outside world we were very successful people in our own rights. [Chris was an EXCO level senior General Manager (one of the top 300 out of more than 30 000 employees at the time) in one of South Africa’s leading Retail Banks, and Suzanne was the co-owner of one of South Africa’s leading airport advertising companies]. At the time we didn’t realise that as successful as we might have appeared to be on the outside, on the inside this certainly wasn’t the case.
We were so busy with the busyness of life, DOING this and DOING that, that we literally had no time to think about the future individually or as a couple. Our past programming (our conditioned operating system) was controlling our thoughts, our feelings, our actions and our results. Prior to our getting together this had shown up in our lives over and over again in a string of failed marriages and relationships on both sides.
How We Crashed and Burned:
Early in our marriage this past programming showed up again and in a desperate bid to keep our marriage together we made some life changing decisions. [Chris quit his job, and Chris and Suzanne cashed in all their combined equity and invested all their money in to a business concept that they thought would make them a fortune, and instead they lost one]. What we did make as the result of our catastrophic failure though, was the breakthrough personally, romantically and professionally that dramatically changed our lives and which we now use to change the lives of our clients for the better.
What Did We Do to Change?
We embarked on a journey together, starting with becoming accredited coaches and then master coaches. Initially this journey was not about our becoming coaches but about our accessing quality material which would help us learn much more about ourselves, our minds, our behaviours and all importantly our results, especially the many unwanted ones! This journey taught us why we kept on doing the things we did; why even when we knew better we still did the same old things in the same old way and got the same old miserable outcomes. For us, this was the strategic difference between our having a life of FABULOUS SUCCESS or a life of ABJECT FAILURE. This realisation served to awaken in both of us the DESIRE to know and learn even more about ourselves and with this came the very real DESIRE to be of service to others, to teach and help as many people as we are able to because everyone should know these success giving things. And so we became internationally accredited through the Proctor and Gallagher Institute, the ICF and the Federation of NLPC Professionals.
We studied great teachers of the mind and success, past and present. We read all their material, we applied their styles and we modelled their systems, adapting these in to our own teachings on an ongoing basis. We launched South Africa’s only weekly personal and professional coaching talk radio show and successfully ran it for three and a half years teaching our audience what we knew as well as interviewing a number of the world’s greatest teachers and business people.
We have interviewed and got up close and personal with James Caan, Bob Proctor, T. Harv Eker, Robert Allen, Les Brown, Dr John Demartini, Tom Hopkins, Chris Gardner, Anil Gupta, Scott Harris, Andy Harrington, Doug Nelson, Loral Langemeier, Melanie Nelson, Dr Rohan Weerasinghe, Mac Attram, Mike Douglas, Greg Secker, Gerry Roberts, Blair Singer, Raymond Aaron, Courtney Smith and Brian Tracy, all of whom are respected and celebrated greats in the personal development and life and business success industry.
So, What Did We Discover That Changed Our World?
Recovering from our catastrophic failure was a long and extremely harsh process. For 18 months we were fundamentally homeless, living in a little servant’s room on the property of a family member. The room was run down, with rising damp and no bottom to the door when we arrived. It had a bathroom and a tiny kitchenette but no proper facilities for cooking which in the long run, posed to be a huge challenge. On the 1st of August 2013 we moved in to this 165 sq. feet room together with our two cats and two Chihuahua’s. Moving from a sprawling 4-bedroom house in an upmarket estate in to this little room was a bitterly hard thing for us to do plus at the time we had so little money that on the day of the move we had to sell our gas bottles to raise enough cash to buy fuel to make the trip. However, when you are comprehensively down and out, a little room like this is way better than having no place to stay and so we are forever grateful for this room as within its walls, we grew, we evolved and we discovered.
There were times when we felt so desperate to escape this environment, when the frustrations which were presented to us on a daily basis were so extreme that we strongly considered throwing in the towel and giving up on our GOALS and DESIRES. We never did though. We always managed to find something deep within us, a special magical something which kept us going and this special magical something always revolved around and linked back to, our knowing what we truly DESIRED. Had we not known this, had we not known what we truly DESIRED, we doubt if we’d been able to persist through all those long brutal months when nothing seemed to ever go our way.
We were DOING our visualisations, we were DOING our affirmations and we were constantly taking action toward what we wanted, so why wasn’t all this working for us, why weren’t we moving forward and experiencing results and some positive financial success? We knew that this process worked because we saw it working brilliantly for some of our clients at the time so why wasn’t it working for us?
One morning we sat talking on our bed in that little room. For some reason we BELIEVED that our affirmation at the time needed to change. We changed it using language that was based in LOVE, safety, harmony and peacefulness and six weeks later we moved out of that little room and in to our lovely spacious, tranquil home out on a farm in the wilds. [What had happened? Chris had realised that Suzanne was taking massive strain physically and emotionally living in that small room. He realised that he needed to get his wife out of that place. Previously his focus had been about wanting to get out of “The JAIL Cell” (that little room) that he felt they were locked into. His focus had been around how frustrated and angry he was at his WANT not being manifested. Now he was focusing on Suzanne, how much he loved her and how much he DESIRED to get them into a spacious and peaceful home of their own, one where they would be safe and where their pets would be safe too].
Once we had moved in to the large, quiet farm house we spent many months healing spiritually, physically and emotionally. We continued to work with a few clients and even though we were taking time out to allow ourselves to heal, we never ceased working on ourselves because we knew how important this was to do – we knew that we were either growing or we were dying. During this period, we began to systematically deconstruct exactly how we had manifested the blessing of the farmhouse; we did this because other things which we had WANTED, hadn’t manifest as yet and we were intrigued to know why. We were seeing fantastic results with some of our clients yet with others, even though they were DOING the work, DOING their affirmations and DOING their visualisations, it somehow seemed that the harder they worked and the more they WANTED it, the further what they WANTED moved away from them.
We Were Seeking and So We Found:
It was then that we saw and understood exactly what causes some to have and others not to, it was then that we connected with THE SHIFT, and, it all fell in to place as a result of our really looking carefully at the comparative differences between the massive SUCCESS that some clients manifested and the non-manifestation of SUCCESS of others. Those clients who chose to DESIRE something (just as we had done with our beautiful farmhouse out in the wilds), who chose to be emotionally connected to their DESIRE or GOAL from a place of LOVE, love being the highest vibrational energy in the Universe, were seeing their DESIRE or GOAL manifested. They were manifesting their DESIRE because they absolutely EXPECTED it to happen for them and through this, we realised that they were spending most of their time in a state of WEALTH CONSCIOUSNESS and that they were using a TOWARDS STRATEGY!
However, those clients who chose to WANT something, who chose to be emotionally connected to their WANT of GOAL from a place of fear, worry, anxiety, desperation and frustration, all of which are very low vibrational energies, were not seeing their WANT or GOAL manifesting. Instead all they were getting was experiencing more fear, more wanting, more anxiety, more desperation and more frustration. They were not manifesting their WANT because deep down they DID NOT EXPECT it to happen for them and through this, we realised that they were spending most of their time in a state of POVERTY CONSCIOUSNESS and that they were using an AWAY-FROM STRATEGY!
We’d discovered that the major difference between THE HAVE’s and THE HAVE-NOT’s lay around this: THE HAVE’s always DESIRE (which is founded and grounded in LOVE and their being enthusiastic) and they EXPECT what they desire to happen for them (they have a positive, faith-filled BELIEF SYSTEM) whereas THE HAVE-NOT’s always WANT (which is founded and grounded in FEAR and their being malcontent) and they DO NOT EXPECT what they want to happen for them (they have a negative, fear-filled BELIEF SYSTEM).
Why an Inside-Out Life Trumps an Outside-In Life:
The most profound thing that we have experienced the past 7 years [and yes we learned of this in some of the better life success seminars we attended, but there’s a huge difference between learning about or knowing of this SHIFT and actually experiencing it] was SHIFTING from living life on the outside to living life on the inside. From birth we had both been conditioned to live from the outside-in and not from the inside-out. Why was this so? Because everyone else around us was conditioned this way too – they only knew how to live outside-in – and so they passed their conditioning on to us because neither they, nor us, knew of a better way of living.
As the levels of self-awareness around our thoughts, feelings, words, actions and results escalated, so we realised much to our astonishment that most of the time we were allowing ourselves to live from the outside-in. We were allowing what we were seeing in the media [all the negativity] and what we were hearing from others, which was mostly negative because most people can only ever talk about other people, events or circumstances in a nasty, disparaging and “doom-and-gloom” kind of way, to have a massively undesirable influence on us.
We were allowing our lives to be senses driven because what we were sensing on the outside [what we seeing, hearing, touching, tasting, smelling] was driving what we were predominantly thinking and feeling on the inside and because what we were sensing was mostly negative, we were in turn mostly thinking negative thoughts and feeling negative feelings all of which gave us many negative experiences.
The moment we CHOSE to embrace the shift from living outside-in [senses-driven] to living inside-out [higher faculties driven], all this began to change. We really began to think about things much more carefully and how we allowed them to impact on us. We got much more in touch, and became much more connected, with our higher thinking faculties [these being imagination, will, memory, perception, intuition and reason] and it was this which allowed us to embrace living an inside-out life.
We were no longer allowing what was going on outside us to influence who and what we were being on the inside. If for example the media was choosing to dish up a whole lot of very negative news all of which was steeped in sensational poverty consciousness writings [lack, scarcity, there is not enough to go around] we simply chose to discard this, to not embrace these sentiments, to not take them inside of us as a truth. Why did we choose to behave this way? Because we had CONSCIOUSLY CHOSEN to embrace a wealth consciousness on the inside and we now knew that we couldn’t be wealthy on the inside if we were allowing our attention on the outside to be distracted by and inundated with poverty, which by the way is the polar opposite of wealth.
Was it easy for us to embrace this shift? Not at all. It took an enormous amount of effort because most of the people of this world do not believe that there is enough to go around [there’s not enough food, not enough money, not enough love, not enough land etc.] and so they are forever competing and embracing and accepting poverty consciousness 24x7x365 albeit in many different shapes and forms and experiences.
Even though these people might talk a great game about wealth, when you look at their actions [always competing and rarely ever creating] they’re not aligned with and to a wealth and abundance consciousness. What this led to was many of our friends and family closing us out of their lives because “Chris and Suzanne Styles had become very odd bunnies.” And that was perfectly okay, because we knew why we were making these tough life changing choices and so we stuck with them no matter what. We knew that we could not be actively embracing one thing on the outside [e.g. anger] and then be hoping to experience its exact opposite [e.g. peace] on the inside. C’est la vie!
What this shift from an outside-in way of life to an inside-out way of life taught us was that peace, riches, wealth, prosperity, love, abundance, joy happiness, wealth, health etc., was not something out there, it was something in here and we already HAD all this WITHIN us. All it took for us to KNOW and EXPERIENCE all this was for us to firstly give ourselves PERMISSION to do so and secondly to then ALLOW ourselves to RECONNECT with it. This is the shift which saw the greatest change happen in our lives and with it came the greatest peace we have ever had.
WHO We Are NOW:
Our lives are so much richer for making this shift. We NOW know that EVERYTHING we are SEEKING is already OURS because it does not lie outside of us but inside of us. Reconnecting with feelings of HAVING BEEN HAPPY [and they were there, we just had to remember them and the many events which had provided us with this beautiful feeling] meant that we ALREADY HAD HAPPINESS in our lives. It wasn’t separate from us, out there, it was part of us, in here! Reconnecting with feelings of HAVING BEEN SUCCESSFUL [and they were there, we just had to remember them and the many events which had provided us with this beautiful feeling] meant that we ALREADY HAD SUCCESS in our lives. It wasn’t separate from us, out there, it was part of us, in here! Reconnecting with feelings of BEEN RICH [and they were there, we just had to remember them and the many events which had provided us with this beautiful feeling] meant that we ALREADY HAD RICHES in our lives. It wasn’t separate from us, out there, it was part of us, in here!
We had finally learned that whatever we desired to HAVE, was not outside of us, but already inside of us. And so came the newfound awareness around our already having everything and this HAVING is what we call MANIFESTED CONSCIOUSNESS which flows from using a PRESENTED STRATEGY. We had everything and so all we had to do was to get in to harmony with it through changing our thinking about it and once we’d done this we were then able to experience and HAVE EVEN MORE of it – true manifested consciousness – there was NOTHING FOR US TO GET because WE ALREADY HAD IT ALL…
NOW we are living life using IT’S A NEW WAY, manifesting whatever we DESIRE to know and experience more and we do this because we have moved from Poverty Consciousness (WANTING), through Wealth Consciousness (DESIRING), to Manifested Consciousness (HAVING). This makes us The Life and Success Strategists who help you to shift from really wanting it, to actually having it!
To your success.